So, it's been a long while it seems since I've /really/ done anything. I finally uploaded a new deviation the other day. I am intending on adding more as soon as I am less exhausted and have more time. First thing is first, the previous few months, say March to June, were pretty much amazing. Last month was pretty rough, and this one isn't so great but it's getting better methinks. Everything was going pretty well at work and there was a guy I was "seeing". He's pretty great, but...things have gotten screwed up...and I am very confused when it comes to him. I want him to be there and I'm very sure he cares...I can't make him feel anything but then again...I don't really know how he feels so UGH! I'm tired of being confused...but I really do care for him... I can't give up...I don't know how...but I can't keep playing along like everything's fine...when it really is not... Anyway...enough of my guy grumblings... Work, it's been alright, soooo busy unless one is out in Lawn & Garden or in Lumber. Well...I don't think lumber has been real bad. I keep getting stuck up front though and it really bites... The front has /always/ been where I hate to be yet it's where I usually am...that sucks... I really didn't intend to complain so much in this entry...but I'm so tired and everything has just been building...I think I just really needed to vent. :sigh: I feel as if I am letting so many people down and I just can't help it... All I really want to do is just sleep and relax...but that's all some of my friends really do a lot so they're all ready to go... Usually I do, except when Mum says I can't (it's still her car...)...but I feel as if everyone keeps depending on me for stuff and I just can't follow along, whether it be because of Mum or because I'm just so tired and...I dunno...maybe I am depressed... I keep staying so down lately...and I shouldn't...I don't know what's wrong with me...Something just isn't quite right with me... I'm getting tired of people again and it makes it hard to be with my friends because I'm slipping into a rut where I feel as if I just need to cut off all ties and relations to people and hide away from the world...That's not good...and it makes me feel bad too... I just need a break from myself and the rest of the world...or maybe with myself and just away from the rest as seeing as how I don't know how to be away from myself...
Well anyway...off to bed with me.
Love you all & God bless.